It's the one week of the year that I look forward to. Forget your cancer awareness weeks, religious holiday periods and charity tennis matches with  non-tennis playing celebrities.

27 June to 18 July is Men's Grooming Week. Nothing evokes feelings of confusion and excitement more so than a 22 day week dedicated to the grooming habits of men.

My 22 days of grooming was kicked off with a letter from men-care company Gillette, who have apparently done extensive research into the area of men's grooming, and the figures they have revealed bring a content smile to my sculpted, shaved and moisturised face.

It appears that 36 per cent of Australian men take their grooming tips from sports stars. While this alone is an interesting point, I am more perplexed that 12 per cent of men follow politicians for styling tips over actors (10 per cent). Let's face it, that lot in Canberra are a suave group of grandpas; I always look to the front bench when deciding what to wear.

Apparently David Beckham is the most recognised sporting icon (is it any coincidence that he is also the spokesman for Gillette at present?) With over 25 per cent of Australian men citing him as their style guru. Among the other top ranked fashionistas were Pat Rafter, Ian Thorpe and Greg Norman. No surprises there.

But if men are following the fashion tips of their timeless sporting heroes, how long will it be before we see the amazing mullets and heart-breaking tight shorts that Warwick Cappa used to impose upon his public? That would just be the beginning.

Australia isn't alone in its hall of tragic heroes to emulate. There are the killer sideburns and moustaches of the Australian Cricketers of the 1970s and 80s. But dig a little deeper and we can recall Jonah Lomu and his reverse mullet, that looked a lot like a dollop on his forehead, Dennis Rodman and his hyper colour hair and cross-dressing.

Cast your mind back to the 1974 Ali- Foreman fight in Zaire, for a cohort winged by the likes of the Godfather of Soul James Brown, how was it that George Foreman was getting around in velour stovepipes and a train driver's hat. The world's sport stars are truly an untapped resource of classy costumes and fantastic death-defying hairdo's.

Today though, more alarmingly than Gillette's latest findings are its claims that the findings have or will spell the death of the much-admired metrosexual. I weep at the prospect, the last two years have been a high point in my life as men have been liberated enough to don pink shirts and admit to having their back waxed.

But hold on. Wasn't David Beckham the poster boy for metrosexuality? The mere mention of Ian Thorpe brings to mind his collection of pearls and designer underwear. But apparently no. A recent article in The Australian ("Metrosexuals So Last Season as the Real Man Returns", June 28, 2005) claims that macho man is back.

And by macho man, I think they mean macho in the way The Village People did: macho, in a camp way. But the latest report from Milan suggests, "Burly blokes, accessorised with tattoos and big haired blonde girlfriends, swaggered past in mesh tops and gold buttoned blazers with scrunched up sleeves."
Since when was a tattoo an accessory? For 'real men', a tattoo is a rite of passage or the result of a drunken night in Kings Cross, not a fashion accessory. And the day that mesh tops and gold buttoned blazers with scrunched-up sleeves are blokey is the day Ned Kelly's body is resumed for a spray tan and fro-comb.

This Men's Grooming Week, I won't be mourning the death of the metrosexual or emulating the grooming habits of some overpaid footy player. My fashion icon is Scott Cam from those ridiculous backyard programs, because a real modern day man can walk brusquely into a shop, say, I'll have four of those in blue, and still pay less than fifty dollars.