A declaration of war
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Andrew Hansen, rasing an eyebrow on the important issues.
Clearly not impressed with Bush's 'war on terror' the Chaser team is preparing to declare a war on everything and televise the results. We talked pre-war tactics with Chatswood's Chaser representative Andrew Hansen.
Should people who voted for Mark Latham feel ashamed?
Not at all. Why would you be ashamed of voting for such a peaceful, healthy, popular man?
If you were looking for Osama bin Laden, where would be the first place you'd look?
In my bedside drawer. That's where I always absent-mindedly leave things.
Who is the easiest politician to satirise?
You never have to do any work on the big one, George W Bush. He's like one of those self-ironing shirts, only he self-satirises.
David Hasselhoff once claimed that he was a contributing factor in the fall of the Berlin Wall. With this in mind, would you have him by your side in your War on Everything?
No! If we got him on the show he'd be a contributing factor in the fall of our ratings.
In fifteen years will Rove McManus be the new Bert Newton, or the new Richard Wilkins?
There will never be a new Richard Wilkins - he's been cryogenically frozen in that state, endlessly walking red carpets like a zombie. And according to Channel Nine, the new Bert Newton is Bert Newton. So Rove will have to resign himself to 15 years of continuing to be Australia's most popular, successful and highly paid TV personality. Poor man.
When your new show airs, will you be aiming for a ranking on www.hottestontv.com.au?
Yes, I'll be ranked as rank.
If you could bring two talents together to create the hit song of 2006, who would you get to duet?
For a long time I've wanted to mix the Crazy Frog Ringtone with Sandra Sully reading the news, and thereby make the most annoying noise in the history of sound recording.
Are the Danish exempt from the War on Everything now that they have a half blood Australian prince?
Yes, they're now part of the Coalition of the Herring.
If you could bring someone back from the dead who would it be? And who would you like to send to the afterlife in their place?
I wouldn't do an exchange. I'd simply bring back Kerry Packer, so he could die a second time. I mean, one taxpayer-funded memorial isn't enough, we should give him two to say thanks for all he's given us.
Who is the one guest you would most like to feature on your new show?
Glenn Robbins. I don't want to be the only show on Australian TV that doesn't have him in it.
Is there anyone you will refuse to guest on your show?
I refuse to allow anyone from the Chaser on the show. They seem to just cause trouble.
